Eddie Griffin

So here's the deal. NBA player Eddie Griffin, a member of the Minnesota Timberwolves, was arrested a few days ago. He was driving home in his Escalade and crashed into a Suburban. Turns out Eddie was drunk, but that's not why he hit the Suburban, oh no. The reason he hit the Suburban was because he was rolling through a grocery store parking lot while watching porn on his in-dash DVD player and masturbating! WTF! Now, I guess I just don't get how you hit somebody in a grocery store parking lot, first of all, but I guess the 6-pack must have taken care of that.

You can read the whole AP story here, but I really don't want to bore you with it. You got the info you needed, the rest is just technical.

Which brings me to the real reason why I'm posting about this: the LAWSUIT! I got my hands on (pun totally intended) a copy of the formal lawsuit against him, and I have to tell you, it might be the funniest thing I've read in a while. I've cut out the good pieces and posted them below. These are the "Facts" of the lawsuit. Click on them to get the bigger, readable versions.

A description of the...ahem...incident.

FACT:






A PERFECT reaction by the cops heros.

FACT:




Oh man, whoever wrote up this lawsuit must have had a sense of humor. You can check out the whole thing here, but again, it's pretty pointless. I gave you the gold nuggets.

Just thought I needed to let everyone in on that. I found it absolutely hillarious, and think Eddie Griffin is now one of the biggest losers in the entire world. You're an NBA player Eddie!

Anyways, here's to never getting yourself into that position...