Sunday, May 28, 2006

Movie Review: X-Men: The Last Stand




















First of all, I want to say I enjoyed this movie. It was worth the $6.00 I paid, and I suggest you see it, especially if you've seen the first 2. Now, I will spend the rest of this post basically telling you why I didn't like it.

So, being a Marketing major, I have grown to look for all of that stuff, and noticed some things this movie that were subtle, then not so subtle product placement. Sure there were Dell's everywhere, but what interested me the most was the headrests of the plane embossed with "PS3". It was subtle, but then the very next scene had kids on the Golden Gate Bridge playing PlayStation in the back seat of a car. It was cool to spot, and obviously worked. Ok, so now to the review.

First of all, this plot was made up. The X-Men comic books laid out a plot line, and this movie took it and butchered it. There was no reason to deviate from the plot either, because the original plot of these events worked well. They have a plot that calls for the apocalypse, yet they don't have the character "Apocalypse" in the movie. This character is true to his name in that he has infinite power and can grow infinitely large, can destroy the universe, he's the freakin' apocalypse. This character (from the comics) had large potential as an arch villain for this movie, but it was just left out. I'll chalk it up to difficult conveyance on screen, but seriously, if you know the plot, it calls for "Apocalypse". Plus, "Apocalypse" creates the 4 horsemen, one of which is "Arch Angel", who better show up way more in the next one.

Now, the boy that has a force around him that eliminates the powers of the X-Men is totally made up. This character was not necessary from the beginning, but was written in for who knows why. The spiritual overtones? Maybe he'll show up in the next one, but he's made up, and I just don't see why.

Now, I will submit some quick criticism. I will keep all of this short and sweet, because I'm sure anyone who's seen it feels the same way.

  • Jean Gray was not badass enough for a class 5 mutant, period. The argument could be made that she didn't know how to control her powers, but when she was destroying the Professor, it seemed like she had a pretty good grip.
  • The spiritual overtones are good, but this movie needed more emphasis on "Angel", soon to be "Arch Angel" (hint). They didn't do a good enough job setting that character up for next movie.
  • Magneto was a badass, and I appreciated that, but where was he the first 2 movies?
  • Jean shouldn't have gotten ugly when using powers, because she's so hot when not using them, but rather should have glowed red as she does in the comics.
  • Halle Berry allegedly asked for more face time, and got it, but it was rediculous! Nothing happened when she was on screen, and she (Storm) is not the leader she is made out to be in this movie. Hopefully that stops when the Professor comes back (spoiler?).
  • The director was good, but not good enough, so I expect a new one next movie.
  • The movie was 104 minutes long! What the hell can you do with this kind of a movie in 104 minutes? Well, apparently some stuff, but definitely not enough. This sequel needed to have bulk. It needed at least a 2 hour running time, I would even say 3. It was made out to be an epic, but fell short in that respect.
  • Juggernaut was badass, and they need more of him in the next one. I guess that's not criticism, just advice.
  • The made up mutant extras that were meant to be killed off were not effective enough. They needed either better powers or a bigger role. Plus, who the hell was scared of Porcupine or whatever the hell he was? Big deal dude, that power sucked!
  • Mystique is hot, and even hotter when lying naked on the floor as a human. More of that. Again, I guess that's advice; bad advice at that, but hey, she's hot.

Now, I have to conclude by saying a few last things to spark interest/spoil the movie for those of you who haven't seen it. If you don't want to know this stuff, and it is spoiling, then stop reading here.

Scott is not dead! No way. They didn't show his death, never confirmed it, just alluded to it and put up a headstone. Jean would not kill the man she loved, regardless of how powerful she was, this is just the opposite story as in X-Men 2 when Jean "died", so Scott is coming back. Also, the cure wears off. Everyone stuck with those needles gets their powers back (as seen at the end with Magneto). Also, Professor X lives! (Hopefully you all stayed for the scene after the credits). I could speculate about the next movie with these things in mind, but I think I'll hold off in case they make up another script.

On the Reganometer, I give it a 7.5 out of 10. I say see it, enjoy it, and wait for X-Men IV.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The plot of X3 is loosely based on a story from the comics, arguably the most famous X-Men story, The Dark Phoenix Saga (With only two stories coming close in fame and recognition, Days of Future Past *my personal favorite X-Tale, and the more recent House of M story). However, in the comics the Dark Phoenix Saga involves space travel, a race of aliens, and the complicated explanation of what the Phoenix is.

Since I've just betrayed how much of a nerd I am by being able to quote specific X-Men story lines at you, I might as well go on a nerd rant about the poor portrayal of the mutants. I totally agree with Kevin that the mutants introduced briefly as cannon fodder were pointless. What aggravated me is that one of them was Callisto, the freaking leader of the Morlocks in the comic. The way she was portrayed just flat out sucked. Another beef, and this is a minor one, is the re-ranking of mutant powers on the 1-5 scale. In the comic there are basically three levels of mutants, Alpha, Beta, and Omega. Omega mutants are essentially gods on earth, and Jean Grey is the only mutant portrayed in the movie that is an Omega mutant. (Side note, Omega mutants are extremely rare, there are only around 7 to 8 completely agreed upon Omega mutants in the comic, Magneto isn't even considered an Omega and he is damn powerful) The real beef is why change the system? Throw the fans a freaking bone here.

Anyway, the final real beef I have is with the whole damn X-Movie franchise. Just how in the hell do you have three X-Men movies and not have Gambit in any of them? For gods sake, Gambit kicks ass and would have been great in the movies, a mush more believable and true to the comic love interest for Rogue. Place Ice Man elsewhere, he has never had a fucking relationship with Rogue, and it just irritates the hell out of me. Plus Gambit just kicks ass, he just does. Throwing kinetically charged playing cards is just bad ass. Ah, a fanboy can dream though can't he?

In short, I was way too much of a fan of the comics too enjoy X3. While I found the first two enjoyable, for some reason this one irked the hell out of me. And now that I have revealed myself as a huge nerd I am back to the basement of the building to get in arguments with others of my kind about which girls that we will never have sex with are better looking and why. And Kevin, I apologize for going on a rant, but I just had to man, I just couldn't help it. I honestly only meant to say that I would have scored the movie lower, and this giant argument erupted from within the fanboy in my heart. Sorry man, sorry.

Kevin said...

Haha, I laughed my way through this entire thing (with you, not at you of course). I agree with your commentary, and can't dispute it even if I wanted to because I am not and never was into comic books, so all of my X-Men knowledge is basically second hand. As for your apology, please don't ever do that again for 2 reasons: 1) I very much enjoyed the post and thought it was actually very informative as I don't know as much about the actual comic book X-Men and have to rely on Hugh Jackman to teach me about Wolverine, and 2) I just plain love when people comment on here. Even if it's two words, I am happy.

Two final sidenotes, and you can perhaps indulge me on these:

1) I hear rumors that the next X-Men, the fourth movie but not necessarily X4, is going to be a narrative about Wolverine and just explain more about his character (is this true, and would it be worth it?).

2) The omission of Gambit for 3 whole movies is sacrilege on the big screen. They had some pretty wide open spaces to add him, and introduced plenty of other, lesser-badass characters before him. I say edit X3 so that the crappy, predictable Iceman/Pyro duel is removed, and have a big scene where Gambit saves the day. It would take care of the rediculous time shortage (104 minutes, seriously, that's so weak). I don't care if it doesn't make sense in the comics or whatever, do it.

Thanks again for the post.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, there are two definite side movies to the X-Men franchise planned with Wolverine being the focal point of one, and Magneto and Xavier meeting as the other. Another potential movie is one starring Mystique. The reason for these solo movies is basically Halle Berry refusing to be in any more, and you can't have an X movie about the whole X-Men without Storm.

But seriously, more Gambit. What the fuck man, what the fuck?

Kevin said...

Someone needs to bitch slap Halle Berry. I mean, how much does one of these movies bring her? I bet she earned more in X3 than she did in Monster's Ball. She probably earned more just for being topless in Swordfish (reportedly $500,000 on top of her salary), and look how great that movie was. That movie was the same as these X-men movies: Summer popcorn movies. I have lost some respect for her after all of this stuff. If you don't want to make only X-Men movies Halle, fine, understandable, but don't sign on for 3 and then quit at 4. You can still do other movies! Look at how long 3 was after 2, there's plenty of time for those crappy "Oscar-worthy" movies everyone's always talking about. Kidding, but she's already got her Best Actress award, why jeopardize your 1 for 1 record? You've won the Oscar everytime you've been nominated. That's 100%! A perfect record! You don't want to ruin that do you? So buck up and do a few more. If you don't, you'll have a lot of angry Zach's pissed at you for ruining the X-Men movie saga, and trust me, you don't want that.

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