You know it's a good weekend at the movies when...

...the top 3 movies' RT ratings don't add up to a C+.

And #1 gets 3%!!!

I was amazed when I saw this weekend's box office numbers on Sunday. Meet the Spartans came in at #1? Are you kidding me? Even more astonishing is that 3% of reviewers actually rated it fresh. This movie looks like it sucks worse than any other movie ever. It seemed to me like the people who made the trailer didn't even try. They knew it was crap, so they said, "Aw, fuck it. Whatever you can do in 3 minutes is fine." And as for the people who actually made it? I just vomited. Seriously, it's in another echelon of crap; it makes Kindergarten Cop look like The Departed. Just when I think people couldn't get any stupider, Meet the Spartans comes out and renews my faith in God, because only God could make shit this bad go to #1.

I actually want to see Rambo, even though I know it will be bad, and while I have no interest in 27 Dresses, I would much rather watch 1,265 dresses go around a dry cleaner's rack for 5 hours than this piece of crap. And I was damn sure a lot more people would have wanted to see Rambo than Meet the Spartans. I would have bet money on that shit.

I guess I was wrong, I guess people did go see Meet the Spartans, and I guess there's about $18.5 million worth of Americans that can't spell "cat". I renounce this world, please shoot me with an air compressor.