New NBA Ball
That's right ladies and gentlemen, it's official. There is nothing left in the NBA that players can look at without being reminded "Fuck David Stern." Despite plenty of boos from players, including Steve Nash and Shaq, David Stern has adopted a new ball for the NBA, and in his opinion, everyone can just fuck off. As we've seen plenty of times in the NBA, David Stern's opinion is the only one that matters.
Player: "The dress code is racist man!"
Stern: "Excuse me, what?"
Player: "I said it's racist, you want all us black dudes to dress like white dudes now."
Stern: "Um, well, is your name David Stern?"
Player: "Uh, no...?"
Stern: "Well you can just shut the hell up then."
That's pretty much how it went with this ball too. Here's what Stern (actually) had to say:
"We've been testing it and retesting it, and I think that some of the dramatics around it were a little overstated in terms of the downside and not enough recognition of the upside. Within certain parameters of the way you want a ball to perform again and again and again, it is performing extraordinarily well. It doesn't mean it feels the same; it may not even bounce exactly the same. It may do all the things that everyone says it may or may not do, but it's a very good ball and the tests continue to demonstrate that it's an improvement." [via ESPN]
So because he and a bunch of scientists think it is better, it's automatic. And his grip tightens. He has also been talking about giving players delay of game technicals for not having their jersey's tucked or stripping their warm-ups off as they run to the scorers table. What a ball breaker! Oh, I just heard this news, apparently Stern is putting some sort of pubic hair regulation in, and any player caught with a pube too long or poorly shampooed will be suspended and fined. Yeah, that's a true story, just came through the wire.
Whatever, Stern has run the NBA pretty well for a long time, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this one... until the ball turns out to suck.
2 comments:
I always laughed when I think it was Jim Rome would say that David Stern is the best commisioner in all of sports. I think Paul Tagliabue would have taken exception to that. Hell, Stern makes ole man Bud look good. And Selig is an idiot that almost destroyed the American past time.
PS It might not be Rome that said that. However, it is one of ESPN's idiotic pundits that did.
I don't know about Bud Selig, I think he is the worst. He almost killed baseball, like you said, and David Stern has never come close to blowing something like Bud. I like Stern, I just don't know how democratic he keeps things.
And as for Paul Tagliabue, he's whitewashed the NFL worse than the NBA, with his uniform standards (even their socks have to be the same!), end zone etiquette (no more celebrating!), helmet rules (can't take those off 'till you hit the sidelines!), and all the little things he's done. After all, it didn't get the nickname the "No Fun League" for nothing.
Either way, it's debatable who's the best, but the fact of the matter is, since Stern has been commissioner, the NBA is making more money, getting higher TV ratings, and being more successful all around, so I hesitate to knock him too seriously.
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