Can it get any better?

No Mr. Rumsfeld, you shut the fuck up. Now you're the jackass! If you all didn't hear, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld stepped down from his post today, clearly due to what experts call "pussy-itis".

"Pussy-itis" is defined as, "a disorder in which one is presented with an opportunity, but backs out with some stupid excuse. Most commonly found in young girls." This point is best illustrated with the discussion Rumsfeld had with Bush earlier today:

Rumsfeld: You know, I think I'm going to resign.
Bush: What?
Rumsfeld: I said I am going to resign.
Bush: I know, I heard you, but what the hell does "resign" mean?
Rumsfeld: (sighs) I'm going to quit, George.
Bush: Ohh, so that's what that means. Now I know what people have been asking you to do all these years.
Rumsfeld: Yeah, well, I don't think I can handle a congress full of Democrats.
Bush: Sounds like pussy-itis to me, Donnie.
Rumsfeld: Whatever, have fun "staying the course" asshole.

Now Rumsfeld will have time to take that hunting trip with Cheney he's been planning. I hope that works out...