The Beautiful Post-Oscars Lull

It seems to happen in every industry. There's a point, usually after the biggest event of the year, in which nothing really happens. The most notable example, in my opinion, is that span of time after the Super Bowl where, unless Tiger happens to be playing that week, absolutely nothing happens. SportsCenter just kind of mulls through crap until either hockey or golf comes to the rescue. Then baseball gets going, and the sports world is back up and running.

Well, this also happens after the Academy Awards every year. In the following months, nothing good comes out. The summer blockbusters are still a good three months away, there are no good film festivals for at least a month, and any movie that is even remotely thinking of being in contention for any awards knows it's way too early to release. So what comes out? Nothing.

This time of year is when all the studios put out all their crap movies because there's nothing to compete with. Well, except other crap. You see a lot of weekends like the one I wrote about a while back. This phenomenon, if you will, is very apparent this weekend as well.

As you can see above, courtesy of RT, there is a lot of shit out there this weekend. If you click that picture, you can see the results of the top 12 in the box office this weekend. If you look at it, you'll notice that only 3 of the top 12 movies in theaters this weekend are rated "fresh", meaning 60% or more of critics reviewing it actually liked it. That means 9 of the top 12 were rated "rotten".

This isn't surprising, because it happens every year, but just because I can, I am going to justify the reasons why these movies are out right now (a.k.a. why they are bad).

#1 at the box office: 10,000 B.C.
There shouldn't be any doubt of why this movie is #1 on this particular weekend. Warner marketed the hell out of it, and it's pretty appealing to a large audience, especially compared to the rest of the movies this weekend. It's PG-13, it's got big animals, and it looks kind of cool to kids and adults alike.

However, there are a number of reasons, besides its release date, that tell you it's going to be bad. You haven't heard of anyone that's involved with the movie unless you're a huge Independence Day fan, and let's face it, who isn't? It's also a very VFX-intensive movie, and what have we learned from King Kong? No matter how realistic you can make a dinosaur stampede look, it's still going to suck. Also, and this may be the biggest deterrent, what kind of "epic" has a 1 hr 49 mins run time? You've got to be kidding. Honestly, one of the "musts" of an epic is that it has to be long. Honestly, whether it's LOTR or Kingdom of Heaven, good or bad, it has to be long.

#2 at the box office: College Road Trip
If you looked at this title, you would have no idea it was going to be the movie RV redone with Martin Lawrence, but if you saw any of the ads, you would. I hope I don't have to go into it any further, but I will. This is like the cliche of movies that come out at this time. They try so hard to be something fun and enjoyable, but when it's all said and done, it just isn't. But the movie has been shot, so they have to put it out. Now's the time.

Martin Lawrence needed a paycheck, and so did the studio. This, unfortunately, happens.

#3 at the box office: Vantage Point
Well, I have to say that I kind of wanted to see this one. But, when you really look at it, it just kind of looks boring. I have no intention of going out to see it even though I kind of want to. But, the main reason behind this one being #3 is that it's been out for 3 weeks, so the people who really want to see it already have.

#4 at the box office: Semi-Pro
You know, there used to be a time when I would line up to see any Will Ferrell movie, no matter what. But then he made Kicking & Screaming and Bewitched, and I was pretty much off the automatic bandwagon. I love Anchorman and Old School and will forever, but that shtick is getting old fast. Plus, I just don't think it's as good a movie as some of Ferrell's other. It's thriving on him and his comedy when it should be the other way around. I think they might have realized it wasn't that good though, and so released it now.

#5 at the box office: The Bank Job
This is the one exception on the list. This has a "fresh" rating. I want to see this, but will probably wait for the $1 theater. It looks exciting and fun, with a lot of bullets and adrenaline, and that's what Jason Statham is good at. But, he does that in every movie, and while it doesn't get old like Ferrell's characters and one liners about punching people in the mouth, it doesn't make me want to rush out to see it either.

So, I saw Rotten Tomatoes today and just felt like writing about it. What do you all think?