Greatest Carls Ever

I felt like making a list tonight, so I chose the greatest people ever named "Carl." Here's my top 5:

#5 - Carl Yastrzemski













Yaz spent 23 years with the Red Sox, was an 18-time all-star, a 7-time Gold Glove winner, batted over .300 in 14 seasons, was one of the greatest hitters ever, and is a member of the MLB Hall of Fame. This guy is a flat out pimp with both his bat and his glove. You gotta love Carl because he's a great baseball player.

#4 - Carl Carlson













Carl is from The Simpsons. He's Homer's buddy and co-worker, along with Lenny's best friend and crush. Everybody loves Carl, mostly because he's the only black guy around and they're afraid to be racist, but also because he's so great at basketball. You gotta love Carl because he's black.

#3 - Carl Jr.










Carl is the namesake for the Carl's Jr. fast-food chain. He is famous for his Six Dollar Burgers that cost less than six dollars, and, of course, his star. He is very messy, proud of it, and can only be found on the west coast. He is also good friends with Green Burrito. You gotta love Carl because he's delicious.

#2 - Carl Lewis













Carl is one of the greatest sprinters ever, and a damn fine jumper to boot, making him probably the greatest to ever compete both on the track and in the field. He's a 9-time Olympic gold medalist with a silver in there to bring that count up to ten, and an 8-time World Championship gold medal winner with both a silver and bronze in there to bring that count to 10, and the total to 20. You gotta love Carl because he's a great track & field athlete.

#1 - Carl Brutananadilewski













Carl is the fat, balding, pissed off neighbor in Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He enjoys ratty wife-beaters, blue sweatpants, green flip-flops, and a classy gold chain. Carl busts his ass 20 hours a week working out of the home, loves porn, buffalo wings, and the band Foreigner, enjoys the occasional hooker, and hates his neighbors. Carl has an above ground pool and a red Dodge Stealth with "2 Wycked" painted on the side, both of which the Aqua Teens take full advantage of. Carl has also died the most times out of anyone on the show, often due to the Aqua Teens, yet is in every episode. You gotta love Carl because he "don't need no instructions to know how to rock."